Ode to VHS: Confessions of the Sex Slaves

In a world, where young Caucasian girls are kidnapped off the streets of Zurich and Montreal, a female reporter investigates a missing girl and gets pulled into a world of trouble upon her inquisition. Runaways and low-lives are beaten, raped, and introduced to heroine before they are shipped off to Amsterdam to work as strippers and prostitutes in the Moulin Rouge. I typed that out with the “movie phone” guy’s voice in my head. I use to have a friend that could do that voice. He drove his room mate crazy, narrating everything. “In a world, where a man scrambles his eggs while contemplating over a small glass of tangy OJ with no pulp.” Imagine having sexual encounters with the movie phone guy. I do.

Often times, sexploitation films are surprisingly docile in terms of sexual content. They want to exploit the idea of sex without violating legal prohibition against showing it all on screen. The early 1970s was bursting with colorful sexploitation films. Mostly women in prison films then we got the Nazisploitation, Nunsploitation, and Blacksploitation. Confessions of a Sex Slave is not the most shocking of the bunch but the rape scenes were more severe than the majority, in my opinion. I wouldn’t put it anywhere near as shocking as The Beast in Heat though. It didn’t even make it to the Video Nasty list. I wouldn’t even try to compare Confessions to a Russ Meyer movie. We do get copious amounts of 70s bush and a lot of sex! They say Confessions of a Sex Slave is “based on a true story.” This isn’t the best film to represent the white slave trade and the rape scenes were pretty laughable. For girls hooked on heroine, they really don’t look that bad off. The dubbing is atrocious but this makes it more comical and entertaining. The score is by Walter Baumgartner. You can expect your typical pseudo 70s music with drum beats and a little sax mixed in there. Honestly, everytime I hear saxophone music I picture the sax man from The Lost Boys. All greased up and dancing like a douche in those tight knickers. Who the hell taught some of these girls how to dance? This film features A LOT of girls stripping and none of them know how to dance.

I am not familiar with Jack Guy’s work. This was the last feature film he wrote and directed but he didn’t pass away until 2007. I wonder why he decided to stay out of the film business. Gina Janssen  (Helga) has appeared in numerous sexploitation films, including Jess Franco’s Hellhole woman but faded away in the early 1980s. She’s easily the most attractive feline in this film. Eric Falk (Karate Jack) also appeared in several sexploitation films, including Jess Franco films and Wanda, the Wicked Warden. He also disappeared in the early 1980s. Karate Jack just might be one of the greatest characters in an exploitation film of all time. I feel his character is so underrated. He wears a fur coat and when he’s seizuring on top of Gina Janssen, he was so loud, I had to turn it down. His facial expressions and load moans were hilarious. I laughed so hard when Karate Jack jumps out at a cop a does the “Judo chop” to a cop and scream HIYAH! I tried to get clear screen caps for you guys but it was hard. His voice over is a Cary Grant impersonator by the way.

The film opens with an introduction of girls and how they got there and where they’re from. Then we meet Helga. The whole film surrounds a reporter and her quest to find her. They shoot her up with heroine, ship her to the Moulin Rouge and whore her out. Karate Jack decides to sample the second girl and she looked like she was starting to enjoy it. I didn’t find her attractive, at all, and she is the worst dancer in the world. Thankfully, we don’t see much of what she considers “dancing.” The next girl looks like a blond Asia Argento with smaller tits. She’s really short and oddly shaped but this wont bother most men. She has to have sex with an old balding dude. It looks to me like they’re actually having sex so I wonder if there really is penetration? Another girl sets out to be an actress and yet another horrible dancer that is humping the floor. She engages in a threesome with a hilarious looking blond man and woman, hoping it will get her into the ‘film industry.’ In the end, the reporter and her lackey track down Karate Jack and Helga is rescued, after a vicious rape and heroine injection. Out comes Karate Jack in an Arab gown humming “here comes the bride” and notices she is gone. He puts down his gun to perform his karate moves on the reporters lackey. This has to be the worst fight scene of all time. Unfortunately, Karate Jack shoots Helga. You hear a gun go off and you see blood but you never see the actual shot.The reporter, lackey, and their boss feel it’s tragic but she’s better off dead than a sex slave and they will continue searching for the other girls. I didn’t particularly care for this ending. There’s a reason why you don’t hear many conversations about this film or come across any reviews for it online, it’s terrible but it’s not as bad as a lot of the XXX films I come across. It was worth a dollar.

“Who is it?”
“The doctor. I have the medicine for Paul’s clap.”
“Come in you old faggot.”

“You lucky sluts”

“If you cannot keep your mouth shut I will give you a good shellacking!”

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