Back in 2006 I was working hard to get myself through a medical career school and became the Computer Applications teacher’s pet. This means I spent a lot of time on the computer. I would go back and forth between creating fun projects on Power Point confabulating medical diseases and writing about the latest in horror. Chainsaw Sally was released in 2004 but somehow I didn’t come across it until 2006 while browsing the Troma website when I was suppose to be working on the fabulous and fascinating medical diseases project. Believe it or not, I was writing about the worst horror films of all time and catching up on a little research. The poster for Chainsaw Sally called out to me. I wanted to know more about this stylish and anarchic Sally character with a chainsaw as her weapon of choice. Plus, it’s also about Christmas. I love Christmas! Yes, it’s true…. I may be Jewish and celebrate Hanukkah but there’s something about Christmas lights, the smell of those trees, and tacky Christmas sweaters that gets this little Jew all excited! However, I get eight days of presents NEENER! Any who, that is how I came across the magical works of April and Jimmyo Burrill. If I could use one word to describe Chainsaw Sally, MAGICAL, would be it.
Sally is unlike every villainous character in the horror genre because of her image. She doesn’t just pull off the crazy bitch routine. There are several elements that make her character original. She’s certainly the most stylish serial killer of all time. Can you honestly tell me there is another like Sally out there? Lets face it, April Burrill has what other girls in the horror industry don’t. I believe a lot of the aspiring Scream Queens out there should take notes. I have a hard on for fashion so I notice details in the back ground and on the characters that others don’t. Sally’s attire for instance; short denim shorts, fishnets, striped black and white knee high socks, two rockin’ belts, skull earrings, black glittery fishnet hand gloves, and crazy hair braids. This is the best dressed serial killer I have ever seen. Sally is a librarian by day and serial killer by night. Seeing her transform from one to the other is enjoyable and she pulls it off beautifully. It’s like we get two Sally’s. Librarian Sally wears the typical glasses and classy business suit with her hair tied up in normal boring fashion. Librarian Sally is also highly intelligent and will school your ass if need be. Then BAM! Back to safety pin earring, fishnets, feather boas, and replacing the books for a chainsaw. I haven’t witnessed a concept this brilliant since Flash Dance. Welder by day, stripper by night, and occasional professional dancer.
“Twice the blood, half the clothes” is the most ingenious tagline I have ever heard of. The show also lives up to this tagline. Unfortunately, I haven’t seen season one of the Chainsaw Sally Show. I know, shame on me but you don’t have to know what’s going on in order to be entertained by this chaotic freak show. The show immediately grabs your attention as it opens up with a loud guitar riff and a bald white boy screaming bloody murder while being tied to a chair. It starts with a bang and ends with a bang! The episodes are short so it leaves you wanting more and you never have to worry about getting bored. I do feel like something is missing but the ending scene with Sally using a sandblaster for kicks and orgasms on her house pet ‘Miss Busy Bee’ was enough to leave viewers satisfied. Sally’s expressions along with the music is priceless and comical. Especially when you add the bunny ears. By this time, Chris just walked into the room and it caught his eye. “What the fuck are you watching???” SOLD!
It’s pretty graphic with killer special effects. Die hard gore fans will get a hard on. It contains some spectacular editing and camera work as well. The shots back and forth of Sally’s maniacal laughs and chainsawing bald white boy’s chest were perfectly timed and put together. In another scene, Sally stabs a man repeatedly. At first I was going to complain that it didn’t look like she was making contact with the body but then you see her making contact and boy is it graphic. I cannot imagine anyone walking away from this show unsatisfied. Honestly, for a Troma production, I didn’t expect much out of the special effects and acting but they managed to exceed my expectations. As for the acting, I was quite impressed. None of these actors managed to go over the top. I thought their performances were spot on. April Burrill is not only easy on the eyes, she’s easy on the ears as well. You know how in most b-movie productions you ears start to hurt because of all the over acting? At least, mine start to hurt. Don’t expect that out of this crew. Her maniacal laugh and screams were far from over the top. The victim’s screams are so convincing, I found myself caring for them while caring for Sally. Monique Dupree, who is a sweat heart, pulled off an incredible performance. This is actually the very first time I got to see her acting and I have interacted with her on several occasions. Now I can finally say without a doubt that this woman is extremely gifted and I would like to see her more often in horror films. Kudos to the Burrill team for bringing her on board. I did expect more to her death scene but her heart flopping to the floor didn’t look like a ridiculous fake so that’s reassuring. The only acting performance I didn’t particularly care for was the lady who plays the Mayor. The Mayor REALLY doesn’t like it when you chew gum. I am going to guess that maybe her performance was suppose to be over the top but it just seemed so forced. No worries. The show carries on and lifts you back up with Sally throwing stars and whips. She puts a stop to delinquents spray painting in her territory and spray paints down the young gentleman’s throat making a foamy, bloody-blue mess.*CORRECTION* Troma has nothing to do with this season. They did distribute season one but this time around, it’s all the Burrill’s FORBIDDEN PICTURES. I think this was a wise choice to distribute the episodes on their own. Don’t get me wrong, I love Troma but I think the show benefits from standing on its own.
Who names a boy Ruby? No wonder why he’s wearing short muscle tops showing off his stomach. He is also educated with coins and runs like a girl. The scene where he’s wearing his Mr. T t-shirt and gets knocked over the head with a frying pan for having a dirty room that smelled like egg salad and vagina had me screaming, “PLEASE SALLY! JUST MAKE THE BOY SOME PANCAKES!” He hates baths but he will take one if you promise him bubbles. He quite enjoyed those bubbles and even gets a boner. The police officers are some of my favorite characters with some of the cheapest looking uniforms I have ever seen. The scenes that take place in their patrol car are comical and fun to watch. The scene where the dick burger officer with the horseshoe stach’ kept saying ‘cock sucker’ to the reporter “Ms Swallows” was priceless. Ms. Swallows is convinced that the officer is legally retarded. Debbie Rochon pops up out of nowhere giving Sally a massage then the two finish the scene off nicely with a lesbian sex scene. I bet male horror fans all over cannot stop rewinding that scene. Two horror hotties together? Licking each other? What more could you ask for? I just HAD to get screen caps of the sexy duo. I have another blog entry that features some of the best funbags shown in a horror film. These are some of the best pair of bewbs I have seen and they should receive a lot of praise. There are so many different shapes and sizes but these happen to be p-e-r-f-e-c-t. Jimmyo Burrill reminds me of Dante from the Kevin Smith films. In the face at least. Did anyone else get that? Maybe it’s just me. I thought the resemblance was uncanny only Burrill has longer hair. Then we have the character Miss Busy Bee who is their house pet. I remember a fairly recent Troma production about a woman who was being treated as a house pet and I have to say Miss Busy Bee’s portrayal of a house pet was much more stylish and fun to watch. She wears a pink tutu and white painted strips under her eyes while she crawls around on all fours doing whatever the family pleases. We also don’t have to watch her shit and piss in the yard. Nicolette le Faye (Bee) was so adorable. I want to take her home with me and make her MY house pet. Seriously, where did this girl come from and why isn’t she featured in more horror projects?
The props in the show are a nice touch. Other than the throwing stars, chainsaws, and whips we are given an abundance of never ending Christmas lights, Freddy gloves, Jason masks, and DVD collections just hanging out in the back ground. I noticed several seasons of The X-Files and a Dean Koontz collection. The theme song for the show is also a nice touch and catchy as fuck. I will be watching more episodes today with more to say about the show. I wonder what John Waters thinks of Chainsaw Sally. He’s also from Baltimore and has a boner for exploitation. I wish I would have asked him about it when I mingled with him recently. I’m betting he is also a fan. Please, do yourself a favor and watch The Chainsaw Sally Show….. Or don’t… and be lame. Whatever.
“It smells like grandma’s cunt and it’s been buried for years.”