Ode to VHS: The Best of Sex and Violence

How many of you can actually say that you own a copy of The Best of Sex and Violence? How many of you can actually say you have seen it? I cherish my VHS copy. Wizard World is one of my favorite distributors. The quality if poor, the sound is off with grains here and there along with glitches but isn’t that what we love about VHS?  Actually, I hated it when I was a kid. It drove me nuts trying to fix that problem. It’s strange, now that I’m older I actually miss it. Another downside, they cropped the shit out of this movie on the sides and top. I wouldn’t call these the best of sex and violence but I would call it the rarest. I’ve never been too fond of the cover either. Brinke Stevens is a hottie but I could of gone without the inbred. This was made in 1981 so it mainly includes films from the seventies. The film is basically one trailer after another from raw exploitation films. Some of these films I have seen…. some are hard for me to find. John Carradine is a host as usual, and his sons even make an appearance. David Carradine looks so young. Honestly, I never noticed what big CLAWS John Carradine had. Lets go over some of these titles on the list……

The first film, Bury Me an Angel, has some of the worst acting I’ve ever seen. It’s not that I have a problem with “tough chicks,” I just have a problem with bad actors playing a tough chick. It’s laughable. I guess bare breasts make up for the acting. At least, in Rebekah Land it does.

The Doberman Gang is one of my favorites! I must get my hands on a copy and I will. It’s not hard to get a copy, thank goodness. The Doberman Gang is self explanatory. It’s about a gang of Dobermans that rob banks. THE FUCKING DOGS ROB BANKS! This films budget was around $500, 000 and it grossed around 5 million dollars in the US. This movie also received the very first “No animals were harmed during the making of this film” end credit thanks to the American Humane Society. The best part about The Doberman Gang would be the names of the six dogs. They’re all named after famous bank robbers; John Dillinger, Bonnie Parker, Clyde Barrow, Pretty Boy Floyd, Baby Face Nelson, and Ma Barker. There’s suppose to be a remake of this but we are still waiting….

The Pregnant Man! Behold, a film I never heard of until now. At least, I do not remember seeing this trailer when I was a kid. It’s hard to come across info on this gem. I need to do some investigating when I have time. Added some screen caps for your viewing pleasure..

There are a lot of fairytale and fantasy gems included in the film. The Sin of Adam and Eve is one of my least favorites. The acting is just appalling and the subject matter doesn’t tickle my fancy. Then we have some Rated-X musicals like Alice in Wonderland and Cinderella. Cinderella looks hilarious! A black man plays the fairy Godmother. There’s so much ridiculous sex humor in this piece, you will die laughing. One of the lyrics in a song by the Prince goes, “I once made it with a great dane.” I don’t believe I have ever seen “Fairytales.” It’s another sex musical and this one features Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. These little guys get to make it with Snow White. You have to excuse my shitty screen caps. As I said at the beginning of the review, the quality is poor.

Next up we have Emmanuelle Around the World (a cult favorite among men) and Tanya’s Island. Every guy I know has a boner for Emmanuelle. Girls included. “She certainly came a long way.” Tanya’s Island is the more disturbing entry. I have a VHS copy of this and I have no idea why. Curiosity killed the cat. It’s a film about your disturbing inner urges and fantasy and reality meeting. Tanya befriends an ape on a secluded island and her abusive boyfriend gets jealous. What kind of a crazy man gets jealous over an animal? This poor girl gets raped by the beast and her boyfriend. A guy, a girl, and a gorilla. Look out Bo Derek!

Now we get to the horror segment with films like The Boogeyman, Zombie, Tourist Trap, I Spit on Your Grave, and The Devil’s Wedding Night. There are a few video nasty titles mixed in there. Zombie is by far the best with an amazing score. The even use to hand out barf bags for cinema attendees. Among rape films, I Spit on Your Grave has to be one of the most severe I have ever seen. That scene is so believable and sex with the mentally challenged man gave me the creeps. Feminists go crazy over this movie and I never understood why. Yes, she does get brutally raped but she overcomes the situation and gets the ultimate revenge! She even chops off one of her assailants penis. This is the ultimate revenge film! I don’t understand how feminists get so upset. The Devil’s Wedding Night is another typical lady dracula luring beauties into her crib so she can sacrifice them tale. The Tourist Trap is one of my favorites and one of the creepiest films I have ever seen. These dummies scared the crap out of me when I was little. It’s your basic young teens looking for excitement tale that doesn’t end in their favor but I highly recommend it if you want something a little scarier than the others you have seen.

Onto the last segment we get The Single Girls, they’ll tingle your dingle. I’m not a fan but it is a lot of fun and there is a huge cult following. Then there’s The Working Girls and Truck Stop Women. As for Blacksploitation, The Human Tornado and Disco Godfather are my favorites. Disco Godfather isn’t really my style but I love rollerskating and horrible disco music mixed with fantastic dancing and camel toes!

At the end of the feature, the world blows up and a caption says, “Watch for Sex and Violence II.” So is this ever going to be made because I would enjoy it!

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