Ode to VHS: Breeders

Now here’s some quality sleaze to feed your queer appetites. Tim Kincaid was catapulting several low-budget sleaze-fests all over the place for Wizard Video. Want to know who is a HUGE fan of Wizard Video? THIS GIRL! Perhaps one of the scariest things about the film is “rape.” Girls don’t like a penis entering where it doesn’t belong. Rape is one of the most atrocious crimes we have to deal with everyday. While some seem to enjoy the idea of it, other girl’s worst fear is being raped. I will chop off your thing if you get it anywhere close to me. Breeders has so many tasteless scenes with nude chicks all over the screen. If you can get passed the ridiculous plot and hilarious looking alien creatures, it’s actually a pretty decent film and the transfer from Video to DVD by MGM was pretty solid. Honestly, I had a harder time believing that there were so many hot virgins running around than believing aliens were raping American women. This takes place in Manhattan of all places. Carrie Bradshaw and Co. are totally safe!

The plot is real simple but ludicrous. Five Manhattan women are raped and mutilated, but they’re kept alive. All of the girls seem to remember their assailant as a regular person, one being a German geezer with a horrible accent. The aliens take form of any human they want and eventually lead the women down to an abandoned subway system where it plans to reproduce. A doctor looking after the girls in the hospital and detective start investigation and find much more than they bargained for. I was expecting a bigger fight in the end. My reaction, “MEH.”

The acting wasn’t all that bad. I was actually impressed. The only actor I was not impressed by was Teresa Farley. She is incredibly beautiful but probably should have stuck to modeling. It wasn’t one of those over-acting roles. She seemed to have absolutely NO personality or structure. She said all of her lines so calmly except in the end where she screams for several minutes. I wasn’t impressed with that either. She was also in Bad Girls Dormitory but I haven’t checked this one out yet. After Breeders, she didn’t seem to have much of a career and didn’t star in anymore films. The name of her character in this film is “Gamble Pace.” Kincaid use to direct porn so maybe that explains the ridiculous name. She explains that her father was a big gambler. Honestly, I thought she said her name was Campbell until I watched it again. What ass hole names their kid after their favorite hobby? Lance Lewman wasn’t a believable detective but he was more believable than the majority of the detectives I see in sleaze. LeeAnne Baker was by far my favorite actress in the film. She has a beautiful face without any marks what-so-ever. You may remember her in Necropolis with six boobs. Amy Brentano wasn’t too bad as well. I wonder what these girls are up to now? If anyone knows how I can contact them, please let me know.

The make up effects were very impressive, even though I thought the aliens looked like completely retarded beings with Misquito faces. The best part was the pool of alien sperm the girls were ravishing in. Fucking gross. This is one of those films you can enjoy with a group of friends and alcohol. You can take a shot overtime a woman is raped. It has a pretty high body count and several graphic scenes. I don’t recommend eating nachos in the middle of your viewing. So there you go. If you’re into sleazy, repulsive, and disgraceful films with several laughable scenes and as much nudity as you see in a Jess Franco film then this movie is for you!

Often times I like to check out fan’s thoughts on the message boards over at IMDB. There is always a fun debate. My favorite for this film happens to be, “This movie should have been called Invasion of the A-Cups. Undersized hooters abound!”

Favorite quotes:
“Okay, but I warn you right now, I have a tortured history with men.”

“You’re fuckin’ bananas!”

“It’s a case like this that makes me want to kill every man ever born.”

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