Video Nasty Pick: Bloody Moon

*I provided my own screen caps for this review*

Jess Franco was one of the busiest directors in exploitation at the time so it’s natural to have some duds in your never-ending resume. It seems as if he just didn’t spend much time working on this film… at all. The out of focus zooms were getting a little old. This is probably my least favorite Franco film and nowhere near comparable to Faceless or Demoniac. The dialogue is rotten with a lamentable excuse for dubbing and editing skills. I actually believe this is some of the worst dubbing I have ever sat through. He never disappoints his fans though. You can expect him to ‘make it rain’ with naked hotties in almost all of his films, backed up with a plethora of blood and gore in this roller disco giallo that managed to make its way onto the infamous Video Nasty list. Can you imagine James Anderton or Mary Whitehouse taking notes with this film? People compare Bloody Moon to Friday the 13th but I don’t see the connection other than the main character staying in bungalow “13.” It has also been compared to Halloween because of the beginning point of view murder scene but I still find no other connection. The score by Gerhard Heinz was a little beleaguering. It’s the same electric guitar notes playing over and over again. Yes, the tune has a hook but it gets old after the 10th time we’ve heard it.

Alexander Waechter as Miguel had me feeling uneasy. What a creepy lad. The actor is a Leo and Austrian. We get to see Miguel’s first kill, we think it’s his first kill, through his eyes behind a plastic Mickey Mouse mask. Mid rape, the girl pulls off the mask and is disgusted by his horribly disfigured face. Honestly, I thought the make-up job on his face was a little ridiculous. It reminded me of fake puke that you ca purchase at the local gag shop. I think they made a mistake with his make-up because in one scene I noticed that he seemed to have less of the gag on his face. His hair is also quite a gag. The disco Queen’s scream enrages Miguel and he stabs her to death with a pair of scissors. How is he only locked in an asylum for five years after raping and stabbing a girl? He’s put into the care of his incestuous sister Manuela and she’s told by doctors, “avoid references to that unfortunate night. He might not be cured.”

Manuela runs a Euro language school and the girls are knocked off one by one, naturally. The final girl, Angela, is no different than the typical damsel in distress in a slasher feature. No one believes her and dead bodies disappear. Miguel creeps on her every chance he gets and she is invariably frightened by his ugly face. She receives creepy threats on her headphones during Spanish lessons and barely avoids a gigantic rock falling off of a cliff. A poisonous snake almost slithers down a tree to sink it’s venomous fangs into Angela but the sexy gardener chops it’s head off with his gardening shears. This decapitation scene was real and I don’t see what the big deal is. Don’t give me that “omg animal cruelty” bull shit like the turtle scene in Cannibal Holocaust. Honestly, who gives a shit about a turtle and a snake? Be thankful they weren’t killing real puppies! We get a lovely twist ending but this time I wont spoil it for you. I am good about doing that. Keep in mind though, it’s ridiculous. In the climax *beep* has a pair of scissors in his neck and he is able to stand up and choke *beep* to death. This scene is ridiculous because she had plenty of space to run for the door instead of screaming like a little girl with a skinned knee and letting him kill her. Kick him in the balls at least!

The characters are incredibly stupid. Take the girl who gets beheaded by the saw mill for instance, this is everyone’s favorite scene and yes it is enough to keep gore fans content but this girl takes a ride with a masked stranger then lets him tie her up. She’s totally into it! I’ll admit, it’s fun to be tied up every now and then but given the extreme lengths this man was taking, I would have known something was up. A young boy is ran over by the killer’s car immediately after witnessing the saw mill decapitation. It tends to make some laugh and anger others. I’m guessing that and the decapitation scene landed it on the video nasty list. There’s also a scene where a man get chainsawed to death in the chest. I cannot complain about the effects. Although, there were mistakes. Angela’s first friend to get knocked off has a knife protruding through her left nipple. The effects and close-up to her bloodied mouth were nicely done but they made a mistake moments later when they show her body and the knife is actually protruding through her lower sternum.

One thing puzzles me, who the fuck is the bald guy that’s always stalking and smiling?

“I’d like to make love with you.”
“So would I.”

“Just let yourself melt into my arms.”

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